Shall vs. Want: a lifelong battle that has final seen a new winner!

How many times are our decisions based on what we should do? On what our society sees best for us? On what our family and friends feel it is better for us? On what others like us have done before? On what looks better?

My personal experience says, most of the times, decisions are based on “shoulds”. But what about our “wants”? About what we deeply want inside ourselves? Does it have a voice? Are we even listening to it?

In my case, my honest opinion… I really wasn’t listening for a long time. Some examples…

I applied to study architecture because I should.

I studied business because I should.

I specialized in Marketing because I should.

I accepted my first job because I should.

It’s been 12 years of mostly “shoulds”. And I am not saying it was a bad thing or that I regret it. It has certainly shaped me into who I am today. But was I 100% happy? Was I feeling fulfilled? Was I living by my purpose?

A very honest no.

Fortunately, about 2 years ago, I started questioning myself. Am I doing what I really want to do? Why am I not feeling realized? Why am I not able to fully explore and leverage my passions and talents? The answer was simple: I always did what I should and not what I wanted. When I started to question what I truly wanted for myself, things started to get clearer. Especially when I allowed the time and space to hear my intuition, my inner voice. And that’s what brought me here, today. Almost 5 months into my year of travelling around the world to develop new skills and competencies and to explore and leverage my passions and talents. And it feels so good. I feel so happy! And, although I still don’t know what I am going to do next, I feel deeply fulfilled. And I definitely feel hopeful about my future. Because I am listening. I am attentive. I am in charge.

Was this shift easy?

No.

The pressure around us is immense. Everyone has an opinion. The expectations are incredibly high. But you know what? It is our life, no one else’s. We are the ones who have to live it and be happy with it. So better, responsibly, do what we want and not what we should. 

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 Tanah Lot, Bali, Indonesia

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